Thursday, August 22, 2013

My husband is a better Indian wife than me!

(Samosas)'s official...husband-ji is a better Indian wife than me!

On Saturday we had friends over to our place for dinner and husband-ji wanted to show off his cooking skills, as his friend is also Tamil and thought he might want some home cooking. Husband-ji was cooking up a storm all day, making his famous layered vegetable biryani, tomato chutney, onion chutney, coriander chutney, and spicy samosas made from scratch.

Saturday is the day I "work" which is technically working my job in the sense that I get a paycheck, but I consider it "my vacation" from the hardest job of all - motherhood. Husband-ji stays home on Saturdays with Maya and he loves to have a fun daddy/daughter day. He would actually be an excellent stay-at-home dad, but I would miss my daughter way too much (1 day away from her is enough for me!)

On Saturday afternoon, husband-ji called me home from work saying that I forgot to bring my lunch. I came home quickly and saw that he had prepared me lunch to take to work - like a tiffin box! And he made one for my father too. OMG. Best husband of the year award...

(He can do it all!)

I arrived home at 5pm and the whole house was clean (and smelling like masala, of course), the baby was fed & happy, and he had prepared a 2 course meal. Not to mention, he looked totally handsome, as always. Indian moustache trimmed so symmetrically! Very impressive...!

Holy crap. My husband is the best Indian wife on Earth. No wonder I'm so freakin' lazy!!!

It makes me think...what exactly am I bringing to this relationship? I don't cook anymore. I do laundry sometimes. At times, I can drudge myself to load the dishwasher. But I really look like such a slob. I don't wear makeup anymore because my daughter is always touching my face. I hardly brush my hair anymore because my daughter is also pulling my hair!!

Of course I know I take excellent care of Maya. And I know that I offer constant intelligent and thoughtful conversation (although I think husband-ji finds this annoying...especially when he's watching his precious Food Network competitions!!!! HA HA HA!!) And there must be some debris of beauty left in my face...and if it's not, oh well, he's stuck with me forever!

(Husband-ji looks handsome...all the freakin' time!)

I think I need to step it up. The one thing I do which is definitely good wife behaviour is to walk over and bring him lunch at work a few times a week. Of course it's lunch I've picked up from somewhere, not actually I could probably cook at least once a week, but then husband-ji would probably complain that there's a pinch less of salt! Maybe I should give him a back/neck massage, but then sometimes he's already deep in snore-ville by the time I get to bed. I do make an effort to schedule our date nights though. I do make him his cup of chai in the morning, but that's hardly making an effort! I am just the laziest Indian wife right now and I simply can't bring myself to get out of it!

What about you, dear readers? Any suggestions on special things you can do for your partner? 



  1. Isn't it typical of us women, to start worrying when everything is perfect in a relationship ? ;)

    I get the impression your husband is really cool, and he likes it that you are also cool and let him be.

    But I worry about my relationship too, I find it hard to believe my husband is happy with a non Indian wife. (Padparadscha)

    1. Yea, he is a really relaxed, happy-go-lucky guy...he never tries to control me at all, which is so great. Motherhood is so consuming that I'm totally ashamed to be a lazy wife ;) My Indian MIL does everything so well and she's such a hard-worker, sometimes I wonder if he subconsciously expects me to be like that..? This morning I asked him if there was anything I can do more, for him - like cooking, any extra efforts, and he said he just wanted me to be happy looking after the baby. I thought that was really as usual, it's all in my head!

      OMG I thought you were any Indian lady this whole time because of your name!!! lol!

  2. I think you can get some flowers for your good Indian wife. oopsie!!! I mean Indian husband. I personally do not have the experience but, I heard many women let themselves go after they have a baby.So, you are not alone.
    It seems like your husband is a foodie.If that is true I am sure he will appreciate new recipe's.Also there is a saying "way to the man's heart is through his stomach". So, maybe you can put on the apron and shine your inner creativity. By doing so you will not only impress him with your cooking skills but also save $$$. That is a good wife character right there. D and I love the frugal lifestyle. It is liberating. I hope I did not offend you in anyway.

    1. hahahaha I know, he is such a better wife than me! Our roles are always going back and forth!
      As a mother there are just not enough hours in a day, and I totally have let myself go in that sense...time-wise, if I have to choose between putting on makeup/doing hair properly for 1 hour, I'd rather spend time with my daughter, or catch up on my sleep, or do my writing.
      I totally agree with you about a man's stomach ;) that's for sure. I'm going to take your advice and cook him some aloo tonight after he gets home, then he can watch the baby.
      P.S. Don't be so worried about offending me :) you're not at all! you're the most polite commenter on here :)

    2. There you go, you told it yourself. You would be rather spend time with Maya than putting make-up. That shows you are a great mother and Maya will definitely appreciate it in the future.
      I try to be as polite as possible but sometimes I feel writing cannot convey the underlying tone. Therefore, I try to make sure.

  3. That soundss sooo amazing... my boyfriend doesnt help with anything unless I ask him, but when I do ask he is quick to help. Luckily I dont have to cook every day because the ILs think my Indian food isn't spicy enough!

    Mmm... special things. One thing my boyfriend loves is a back scratch. Not sure if it's just him though. And when I say love I mean LOVE. It's crazy. Even just try making one special dish for him once and a while, if you have a dish that you know is his favourite? By the sound of it, he doesn't have a problem with the way things are right now, so don't worry too much! We as women always over-analyze things!

    1. yes, it is true, sometimes you just have to tell men what to do, or else they don't know! lol
      It has been a work in progress for sure, the less stressed he is, the more helpful he is. And some men just learn from being in a relationship longer too...
      LOL about the back scratch! We both love it and we call it "the water buffalo back scratch" - like the way the water buffalo goes up against the tree...hahaha!!! :D

  4. Aw. :) That's a sweet family thing you've got going in your house!
    IMO marriages have an ebb and flow and good partners are those that fill in each others' gaps. You might feel that he's putting in more lately and then there will be times when he'll need you to step in and take charge when he has stuff going on in his life and then you might feel like you're doing it all!
    But that's what makes a good team. And you guys make a great one!

    1. I think you have are really great point there. That is when a team works perfectly.

    2. Totally, i absolutely agree with the ebb/flow, our roles are always going back and forth...
      Thanks, I think we make a pretty cute couple too ;)


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