Thursday, September 12, 2013

The mirror

(Having a quiet moment to myself, Ganesh Chaturthi 2013)

Over the past few weeks, I've had a lot of revealing interactions with people who I've known for a long time. I say "revealing" because in my deep conversations with these people, I have learned more about them, and more about myself - at the same time.

It's funny when that happens, isn't it? When you think you know someone, you've got them all figured out...and they say something (or a series' of things) that make you change your mind about them. Suddenly, they become a deeper, more multi-faceted person than you would have ever thought. There's different sides to them, like a prism hanging in a window - sparkling when it catches the sun's rays.

I don't know what it is, but the past while, I've been really listening to the world. I feel like when I am talking to somebody, I feel so in tune with them that I can almost feel their heart beat. At the same time, I feel solid enough within to separate myself from any dramas that are going on around me.

Not only did I learn more about these individuals, but I feel like something has shifted ever so slightly inside me too, and it makes all the difference. I feel like I've revealed to myself - my SELF. Maybe it is the point in time where I'm finally meeting my true self. There is a calmness that I feel. A connectedness. And at the same time, I feel as solid as the eye of a storm. Whatever is going on around me, I feel solid. 

Is this what it feels like? Is this what it feels like...to finally meet oneself? It feels like I've been walking towards a mirror all these years, with my reflection slowly coming into sight...and now I'm standing right in front of myself and the reflection is clear. I'm standing in front of my self and smiling. She's different than I thought she would be, she's better than I thought she would be...

I'm meeting my self...



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4 comments

  1. Agree, I think especially as mothers we are on a fast tracked journey to realising what exactly is important to us in this life and what impact we wnt to leave on this earth for our children.
    I had always been attracted to law, pol science etc but now more than ever I realise my biggest interest is international affairs and relations and that I want to work in this field in relation to the UN, to government policies, to being an advocate and a part of change! Now to get there! :)

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    1. Absolutely - everything just shifts, it all becomes deeper...right now I'm trying to re-define my identity after this huge life change, things that were important to me before are completely different now. For me, I am more confident in myself and my journey, and could care less about others' opinions of how I should live my life or raise my daughter, for example. In a sense, becoming a mother has made me closer to my true self :)

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  2. beautiful post, very deep

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! It's more intimate than I usually do.

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