Saturday, October 19, 2013

Mother-in-law to the rescue...!

(Img via)

Last week, I went for my first follow-up appointment at the doctor's post-meningitis. The news was not good. 

"It's going to take 6 weeks to get back to normal; to get your brain functioning again after all that swelling. Take it easy, get lots of rest, avoid too much mental stimulation. Just rest...you have no choice but to rest. Don't push it. You've had a brain injury," said the doctor.

Shit!!! 6 WEEKS??? OMG.....I assumed it would be maybe one to two weeks at the most! I mean, really...resting every single day...the days are very long for me...when you can't fill it up with all your normal daily activities.

And the second thing...avoid too much mental stimulation??? Oh effing crap! That's like my favorite thing ever! I am like the freakin' cookie monster of devouring knowledge and expressing myself!

It has been very difficult to read, write, and talk. My brain feels easily overwhelmed at times, out of the blue. I have been practicing my writing every day, but my reading is still slow, and my speaking has been hit the worst. I get easily confused and mixed up when I'm talking. It sort of feels as if my brain is a balloon floating above my head, all over the place. It's been really hard. I pride myself on being a quick witted, deep thinker...and now my brain feels so sluggish.

The news hit me very hard. After the whole hospital ordeal, I made a bucket list of all the things I wanted to do when I'm better - like cooking for husband-ji again, and going to yoga, reading more novels, taking Maya to the park more often...it's all put on hold for now. I have no choice.

Well...I guess if I'm to avoid mental stimulation...I could just watch the Kardashians marathon to pass the time (since that doesn't require too much brain power! LOL!!!)

But...the hardest part of this whole thing - besides my own frustration with feeling "slow" in daily activities - is seeing how this whole ordeal in the hospital, and now in recovery, has affected my loved ones. Sometimes when a family member is having health issues, it is often harder on the loved ones than it is on them. Everyone is a mess. Husband-ji, my parents.....everyone is totally stressed out. It has been stressful on the whole family. It makes me feel bad.

So, what did I do? In tears I phoned up my trusted Indian MIL....and asked her to come and help us. I miss my beloved Amma. Much like myself, she is the emotional rock of my Indian family. She gives so much emotional support - to everyone - and I think all of us would benefit from her presence. And especially for husband-ji (whom my father swears is on the verge of a breakdown) needs his mother here for emotional support.

I wish I would have asked earlier, I remember speaking to MIL on the phone towards the end of the hospital stay, with her asking me if she can come. I said, no, no...I'll be better soon. How stupid of me! I should have asked right then and there, but I didn't want to inconvenience her...and I also didn't realize how long the recovery was going to take. I just thought I'd immediately feel better once I was out of the hospital...which didn't happen...

My MIL is currently in Switzerland helping out my SIL. It was complicated to get her here (to say the least), but we finally just booked the flight. We need the help and the support more than ever, and we have never asked for help before.

We need my beloved MIL... more than ever...



P.S. Expect more recipe posts to come! I'm going to photograph all her cooking & write everything down (as well as probably getting totally - and happily - chubbier!)


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9 comments

  1. Yes, embrace all the help you can get- she sounds wonderful. I am all tuned for your MIL-visiting tales:-) Take good care of yourself and get good rest! Warm thoughts to you:-)

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    1. Thanks Eli, I'm so excited and glad she's here. More Woody Allen movies to watch with her! And she wants to teach Maya how to talk Tamil :)

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  2. oh wow.. after reading this story, I realized that you are a canadian married to an Indian..omg..that is so so special to read about.. You probably have already been indoctrinated into the Indian ways, for I couldn't detect your nationality while reading the post.

    Anyway, loving reading and wish you a quick and recovery alongside the loving MIL :-)

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    1. Thanks Vivek, yes I`m totally Indianized, as you can tell!
      See here: http://madh-mama.blogspot.ca/2013/07/how-being-married-to-indian-has-changed.html

      So glad my MIL is here, she is the best :)

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  3. YAY!!! That is so awesome. You need all the help you can get. I am so happy she is coming. Just take it slow and easy. Read this: http://healthletter.mayoclinic.com/content/pdf.cfm?p=283/201310.PDF
    I know you said you are not able to read/stimulate your brain, but I think this will really help you with your recovery. It is eight pages long but I am sure it will help with what you are going through at this point.

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    1. Thanks so much! We are having the best time together, and the doctor gave me the go-ahead to start walking, so I`m thrilled about that!

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  4. I am American and divorced with two children. I am married in America to my Indian husband who is 6 years younger with no kids. He was accepting of kids to some degree before we were married and now that we are married he doesn't care at all about them and gets upset if I even say their name. I am a good mom and I am really pretty and can get any guy I want but we actually really do love each other. He won't tell his parents that I have kids or what my real age is. Should I go along with this? We are already married and have been for over 2 years and his parents still don't know. He wants to have kids with me but I think that is a bad idea if he can't be honest with his parents about my kids. They will eventually find out. I have been honest about everything but I don't want my kids to be screwed up because he is scared of his family who are thousands of miles away. I think he need to grow up and face the reality that he has made for himself. Our relationship is bipolar because of this. He won't even live with me full time and blames it on his job. Now we are getting a room created for him in our house so he can be alone when I have my kids. This is a wtf situation and I am so not happy.

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    1. http://madh-mama.blogspot.ca/2015/08/ask-firangi-bahu-my-indian-husband-is.html

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  5. Wow is all I can say. You have been very understanding with him. Perhaps too understanding? All I can think when I read your post is to set boundaries with him. Those are your kids, human beings that deserve only love. And you're right, he needs to grow a pair (if he hasn't already) :)

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