Saturday, November 30, 2013

The importance of "date nights"

(Just the two of us!)

Having a regular date night is so essential for any couple - married or not. One of my top marriage tips is to never stop dating, no matter how many years you have been together. Date nights are so essential to reconnect with your partner and to have some alone time - just the two of you. It may sound unromantic, but you really do have to schedule them and put it on the calendar - making a plan to go have dinner together, or to see that new movie - and looking forward to it is really exciting (a hot date with husband-ji on Thursday night! Woo hoo!)

After having kids it gets really tricky to keep doing "date nights", but your relationship needs it more than ever - to just focus on each other. After having kids, you also won't have such a flexible time frame (we either have to complete our date before Maya's bedtime at 9pm, or go out after she's asleep - but usually we're too tired for that!) With my parents here, and my MIL also here, I started to remember that I should take advantage of that and try to do a date night with husband-ji at least once a week. After all, I've been having such a great time with my MIL that I find myself ignoring him all the time! (Yes, I know, I'm such a bad wifey sometimes...LOL!) I mean, MIL and I have just been too busy chit-chatting and hijacking the TV with our horror movies, so much that poor husband-ji has to go into another room to watch his beloved cooking competitions! Seriously though, it has been like a non-stop "kitty party" - husband-ji is totally outnumbered in our female household! Oh well, at least MIL is making him all his favorite foods!

As a full-time mother, it has been hard for me to think about anything other than my daughter's needs 24/7. Having Meningitis made me think about my health and my personal goals, but what about poor husband-ji? I needed to make our relationship a priority too and give him some one-on-one attention! 

(Img via)

So, the other day, my mum wanted to babysit Maya for the day, so I thought it would be nice to do a date night with husband-ji after our visit to the Chiropractor (our backs are totally f***ed from lifting the baby!) We went to a nearby restaurant that we had never tried before - and the food was delicious! 
Husband-ji complained for half the night (LOL!) but I was just happy to be out without the baby and eat food at a slow and leisurely pace! Literally tasting, chewing, and slowly swallowing the food - is that how I used to eat before kids? (After kids, we are mostly gulping it down!)

It is so easy to get stuck in routines - since husband-ji is such a picky eater, we find ourselves always going to the same restaurants, which can get really boring. I feel bad if he doesn't like his food and then he has to come home and eat his rice and mango pickle. But the other night for our date, we tried a Caribbean restaurant called "The Reef" which is very popular in Vancouver. They had a lot of vegetarian items on the menu - and so many Indo-Caribbean dishes too! It also brought back memories of husband-ji's trip to Jamaica and trying the food there. He ordered Doubles, which is basically chana masala with bara (like poori); and he also had a mixed vegetable curry. As we were eating out, I always jump at the chance to eat my non-veg delicacies (inside our house is vegetarian-only), so I ordered the most delicious Tilapia fish tacos that were melt-in-your-mouth delicious, as well as yam fries. They also had a lot of non-alcoholic drinks (we both don't drink) and I had the most zingy made-in-house ginger ale. It was totally exciting going to a new restaurant (I know, we are such a boring old married couple!)

(Doubles; yam fries)

(Mixed vegetable curry; Tilapia fish tacos)

Another thing we discussed was our upcoming 8 year anniversary in January. I was like, Whooooaaa....eight years, almost a decade! Shit, we are old! I thought we should do something special, because last year we only went out for dinner. Husband-ji has a lot of time off work during the holidays, so we decided to book a special trip for our anniversary. By that time, MIL/FIL will no longer be here, and my parents will also be on vacation, so we will have to take Maya with us. But I'm actually looking forward to traveling with her again because she is a bit older and more mature since our last trip (by more mature, I mean she can sit quietly and watch her cartoons for at least 30 mins!) and we can do fun touristy stuff (and shopping, OF course!)

So, until then, my mission - before my inlaws leave is to do a date night once (or twice!) a week! Maybe we will catch a movie next time (husband-ji is also picky about movies too!)

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Dear readers, what are your favorite ways to do dates with your partners? Do you think doing dates are important for your relationship?


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10 comments

  1. Absolutely, Alexandra! All the best for your Anniversary!
    Enjoy! Spend as much time as possible & make the most of time :)

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    1. Thanks Anita! Planning another date night this week, looking forward to it ;)

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  2. All the best. You have the heart to convert every movement to a memory. Nice Alexandra

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much :) Love your recipes on your blog!

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  3. I love your blog, so I have passed on the Liebster Blog award to you Alexandra:-) http://expatliv.blogspot.in/2013/12/1-liebster-blog-award-to-expatliv.html

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  4. Congratulations, your blog has been nominated for NEPALIAUSTRALIAN's Blog Award 2013. Please click the link for more details.

    http://nepaliaustralian.com/2013/12/02/nepaliaustralians-blog-award-2013-nominations-announced/

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  5. Hi Alexandra, date nights are awesome. The husband and I do our best to have date nights and they are not always regular or as often as we would like them to be, but even if we don't go out, we do make it a point to watch a movie together after our daughter is in bed. When we do go out we often go to the restaurant at which we had our first date...:-).

    Early happy anniversary!

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    Replies
    1. That's so romantic and such a lovely idea!
      One of these days, I'd love to go on a trip to the city where we first met - Savannah - and show Maya all the places we fell in love!

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