Monday, August 18, 2014

The Lucky Ones


My dad had a biopsy a few weeks ago and we were all waiting on the edge of our seats until he got his results back. My dad has been particularly fearful lately - could be the post-traumatic stress from having cancer earlier this year. This feeling of "is it going to come back?" has been haunting him at every moment. Every time he gets an ache or a pain, he thinks, "is this it?"

My dad got his biopsy results back and again he is non-cancerous. He doesn't need to see the doctor for another whole year and he has a clean bill of health.

I can't begin to describe how blessed he is, and how grateful I am that he's got a clean bill of health. Praise The Lord - we get to live!!!! What a blessing that is...

Last night, we had a casual Sunday family dinner where we just ordered Chinese food and watched the Kardashians - even in those moments we are so lucky to be all together. That we are not separated by hospitals or that one of us is bed-ridden. That we can eat together, and laugh together, and watch Maya play. It makes all our fights seem petty and ridiculous.

Health has been on my mind a lot lately, not just because I have been dedicating a lot of my time to self-care, but also because my anniversary for surviving meningitis is coming up. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. As the date nears closer, I remember what it was like to be in the hospital bed on the edge of survival. I got a small headache the other day and it completely freaked me out, even though the doctors said I am now immune to that particular strain of bacterial meningitis. Instantly, in my mind, I went from zero to one hundred - is this it? As much as I come down on my dad for worrying too much, I understand it myself.

In a nutshell, I would say I feel beyond lucky. Every morning I exercise at dawn and it feels damn good to feel the blood pumping through my veins and feel alive. I run faster when I think of my long days in the hospital bed, staring out the window at all the fortunate people who were walking around. When I left the hospital, I said "I never want to be back here again" - and I meant it. Even though I have a sense of dread for this anniversary, I feel lucky that it reminds me what's really important. As my dear MIL says, "health is wealth!"

By God's Grace we are healthy...and that means the world. That means that we get to wake up every day and live to our full potential...


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4 comments

  1. Alex,

    Such a great picture of your Dad and Maya, so happy for him on his cancer free diagnosis!

    Melissa

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  2. Nothing like spending time with the people we love the most. When we look back we see how petty usually the disagreements were. Savor these moments and leave resentments behind. Not worth it when life can change in a second. Enjoy each other :)

    Millie B

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