Saturday, September 6, 2014

Book review: Partnership Parenting

I decided to read this book, "Partnership Parenting: How Men and Women Parent Differently - Why It Helps Your Kids and Can Strengthen Your Marriage" (by Kyle & Martha Pruett) after my recent clashes with husband-ji over handling discipline. I began to suspect that we as individuals would have parenting differences and how to handle that. I read a lot of parenting books, and they all seem to be geared to mothers OR fathers, and never have any tips for parents to work as a team. Luckily, this book had tons of helpful tips on how to handle parenting conundrums as loving, respectful partners. I actually wish I had read this book earlier! 

Here are some quotes that I found valuable from this book: 

"The transition [to parenthood] throws the couple into a whirlwind of change in values, roles, and expectations, not to mention emotions, from which some couples land on their feet and nearly as many do not"

"When two adults share the parenting of a child, the nature and quality of the relationship between those adults will have a strong impact on the child's development"

"Families are whole entities larger than the sum of the pairs (mother-child, father-child, or couple). The system of relationships between and among all these smaller parts of the nuclear family make up the dynamics and determine so much about how each member adjusts to family life, day by day"

"Ideas about how to parent are often based on one's own childhood, seasoned with lessons from relationship experiences along the way. Since no two people have ever grown up in exactly the same way, there are bound to be variations on how to raise the baby"

"What is good for one is good for all" (on self-care)

"Couples need alone time as couples to recharge their common, collective battery and to talk about their partnership outside the world their child inhabits or pervades. Many mothers and fathers bring an intensity and tunnel vision to parenting that renders them myopic; that is, they focus too much on the children. Parents need time away from their children in order to thrive, grow, and evolve together as a couple"

"Acknowledge that good fathering is a part of good parenting. As soon as the nurturing needs of children activate the nurturing potential in men, many seemingly unrelated aspects of their personalities begin to soften and open"

"The tie that develops between a father and his child strengthens - not weakens - the couple's relationship. When dads take the initiative with their children, many women report feeling as if their husbands are caring for them directly"

"Consider everything you and your spouse do for the good of the family, and stop keeping track of what your partner is not doing"

"Differences [in parenting] offer the kids two perspectives on how to live in a world with two different people who love them"

"Children know and deeply appreciate when parents show each other respect, positive attitudes, and affection - even when they disagree. That teaches kids that differences are not deficiencies. As children grow older, they feel proud to have bits and pieces of both parents inside them to count on"

Partnership parenting is:
- valuing the other parent for his/her differences and accepting the differences as part of what makes family life interesting
- putting your children's well-being first when disagreements arise
- committing to finding ways to grow individually and in tandem in response to your ever-changing family's developmental stage


Dear readers, which of the quotes speak to you?


  1. Some great advices I could use in future :)

    1. I would totally give this as a gift at a baby shower! I wish I read it sooner!


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