Thursday, November 6, 2014

My article on intercultural marriage (plus tips!)

Last month I was thrilled to announce that I was going to be featured in Complete Wellbeing magazine (India) in the October 2014 issue.

Now that I have gotten the issue in my hand, I am excited to share my article! It will also be available online soon, in the next few months. Getting the copy in my hand and seeing my photo in the author picture was a big OMG! moment!

Here it is...






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13 comments

  1. You presented the situation many of us face quite well. There is a blend, a give and take, and a need for understanding. 10 years together and we still need to use listening skills, especially after a move to India.

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    1. Thank you....it really is a balancing act and a constant learning experience.

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  2. Ah! Lovely article and congratulations! You are becomign quite a celebrity :)

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  3. I Love You! Beautifully written dear friend!

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  4. That's a great article, it was worth waiting !

    Our inter-cultural couple is quite different. Initially when I asked hubby why he chose me, he told me he didn't want an Indian wife. And really he doesn't want me to do anything Indian at home, I had to buy sneakily a pressure cooker and bangles for the baby ! But on our recent trip to India, he suddenly expected me to do everything like the wife of an Indian middle-class youngest son. Sleeping in the car, sleeping in a place full of cockroaches and mosquitoes, eating dubious roadside food, waiting for hours in department stores for relatives to chose their gift, going on a 2-wheelers with a 5 months baby and stay cool while the MIL was scolding the hubby every five minutes... I did it all, and now I know why meditation was invented in India, ha ! That was difficult and it was a huge comfort to be able to read your blog on my new phone :)

    I then asked him to adjust more to my culture... it didn't seem to work until for our wedding anniversary he got me a bottle of red wine called something grace and a red rosebush :) (Padparadscha)

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    1. I have noticed that too....I think it is because typically Indian guys aren't raised to be able to "adjust" one day (as opposed to Indian girls). In the beginning, it was clear that my hubby didn't want any other (Indian or not). But then of course living abroad, he does get homesick. And he is picky about food. And then I feel bad sometimes that we are living away from his culture....so then I start to do more stuff.
      And in India, it is very hard...it is the Indian way or the highway! And O.M.G. waiting in department stores for the aunty's to pick a damn saree..........aiyoooooooooo

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  5. Dear Alexandra,

    Reading this article and how much you "accommodate" your Indian family and MIL, left me wondering how much effort they (and your husband) put into accommodating the Western lifestyle.
    Much as I love Indian food and clothing, I think that the Indian partner also needs to accommodate to the Western lifestyle if the couple lives outside India. I somehow get the impression that the adjustment is often more towards the Indian side.
    I don't think I could deal with various extended family members and aunties commenting on everything I do.

    Regards,
    Jonna

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    1. Yes, I agree. They absolutely do, it needs to go both ways.

      http://madh-mama.blogspot.ca/2013/11/how-much-has-your-husband-adjusted.html

      http://madh-mama.blogspot.ca/2013/09/did-i-westernize-my-indian-mil.html

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  6. I agree with Jonna. As an Indian (Tam Bram was born and raised in Chennai) I am amazed at the amount of Indian things you do - some of which even I don't do. I guess it is your blog and it is from your perspective, but it would be nice to hear about what your husband does to celebrate and participate in your culture.

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    1. http://madh-mama.blogspot.ca/2013/11/how-much-has-your-husband-adjusted.html

      http://madh-mama.blogspot.ca/2013/09/did-i-westernize-my-indian-mil.html

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  7. Hi Alexandra,
    I discovered your blog just a few days ago and am rambling through the posts and am amazed by your thoughtful observations and the great lengths you go to accommodate the cultural differences.

    You have noticed the ridiculous barriers we Indians place amongst ourselves - regional, linguistic, religious, caste, etc...I do hope Indians will start removing references to caste atleast...I find it disheartening to read constant references to TamBrams, Iyengars, Brahmins.

    ...ayyo ...lets try to go beyond these divisive, superiority complex, ridiculous labels

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