Wednesday, December 10, 2014

The true intimacy of postpartum recovery

(Maya at 3 days old)

In the first few months of having a newborn, you kind of let it all hang out - literally and figuratively...

Seriously, I don't think husband-ji had ever seen me in such a vulnerable state and had seen ALL of me. And boy, do I mean ALL. There is something about having a baby with your spouse that just brings your relationship to a whole new level of intimacy...


By intimacy, I mean....

Watching me give birth - front row seat.

Inspecting the placenta and cutting the umbilical cord.

Helping me on the toilet and seeing my postpartum menstruation pad.

Boiling the herbs for my perineal lotion.

Watching milk literally squirt out of my boobs.

Running errands to get me maxi-pads, nursing bras, breast pumps and nipple shields.


Yes, it has definitely taken our relationship to another level!

I remember after I had Maya and was unable to leave the house. I asked husband-ji to run some specific errands for me - get me maxi-pads, nursing bras, and larger stretchy underwear. That too, and my FIL went along with him. Can you imagine those two clueless guys going on a mission for feminine hygiene?! Seriously - we are talking about two men who prefer not to be seen in the women's underwear section in the department store. They will literally hide in the house furnishings, rather than be around the pink lacy thongs!

The first step of the mission was to go to the drugstore to get me maxi-pads. Husband-ji was utterly confused. They were all different colors and some had wings and others did not. They also had flow size. He was utterly confused and so embarrassed that he had to spend more than 2 seconds in the aisle.

The next mission was to go and get me nursing bras. This was pretty easy since I told him the brand, color and size, and they were all in these little packets. Easy to grab and go!

The third mission was to go get me larger, stretchier underwear. They both had to go to the dreaded department store lingerie section that they avoided like the plague. They were so confused. They found the size, but they didn't understand why there were so many variations of the same underwear - high cut, bikini, hipster, french cut....And nearly everything was stretchy, but they were all different fabrics. Some had elastic and others did not. For that mission, they had to wing it!

They came back with the items like they were looting a maxi-pad Black Friday sale, and I was quite impressed. They got most of the right items with minimal mistakes.

They could totally be on an episode of The Amazing Race: Postpartum Dads run Feminine Errands edition!


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6 comments

  1. Yup! Pretty much par for the course. I didn't even bother with a shirt for the first few weeks, being on a crazy breastfeeding routine with tubes and syringes. My whole family likely got more than they bargained for. I labored at home with hubby until going to the birth centre where I had a water birth. He he... giving birth has no room for shame or modesty. :D

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    1. Ha haha! I think my FIL probably was traumatized. He turned beet red and ran downstairs when I pulled out my boob to breastfeed. It didn't even occur to me! My hubby was like "uhhhh can you do that in privacy so my father doesn't see that?" To which I retorted, "I don't have time for privacy!!!!!!" ha ha ha!!

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  2. So true after the birth of a child there is a whole new level of intimacy!!!

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    1. At first I wasn't sure if it was TOO much intimacy....now I'm like Oh Well!!!

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  3. @ Alexandr a

    I have read one women blogger said that indian men are more supportive in parenting than western men as they are more used to the family concept. I don't know whether it is true.

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    1. Hmmmmm interesting. I think Indian men are more committed in general like towards marriage BUT I have noticed stricter gender roles in Indian families - like men not changing diapers, getting up at night, participating in all of parenting tasks. Depends on the guy though.

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