Thursday, February 19, 2015

The return of the Indian Aunty Detective

---Read part 1 HERE---
---Read part 2 HERE---


As many of my readers know, we have a peculiar Indian Aunty in my neighbourhood who is extremely nosy. I call her the "Indian Aunty Detective" because whenever we see her it turns into an awkward interrogation. She works as a cashier at this take-out restaurant which is on our street. Previously, she has demanded to know from me what caste husband-ji is and where he works.

Ever since my interrogations interactions with her, I try to avoid this place at any cost. But sometimes, I send husband-ji to go pick up food from this place on my lazy days - because he is clearly more dominant than me and can easily handle such a type of nosy Aunty! In fact, he was born to handle such a type of person!

A few weeks ago, I had the most lazy day ever which I just couldn't get out of my pajamas and just felt like watching films on Netflix all day. So, husband-ji went to go pick up food at the take-out restaurant where this Aunty works. She does not work full time, so it is about a 50/50 chance that we won't see her...if we get lucky!

......And the Indian Aunty Detective struck again!!!

Apparently, when husband-ji went to pay, the Aunty gave him a weird look and said, "ARE YOU MEXICAN?"

Husband-ji looked her dead in the eye. He paused for a minute, for maximum power. Then he said, "NO, I'M ITALIAN!!!" The Aunty had the most confused look on her face. He walked off with his food like a boss.


When he got home, he told me that he had a run-in with our notorious neighbourhood Aunty. When he told me what happened, I said, "Mexican?!?! Oh come on, how can she not know that you're an Indian, being an Indian herself! Your moustache itself is inherently South Indian!"

Husband-ji said, "She DID know I am an Indian, and I'm almost certain she recognized me from before. She said it just to MESS with me. So I decided to MESS with her right back!!! I mean, who does she think she is?! She is not the Chief Minister of Vancouver!" Then he winked, and gave a giggle.


Oh, the games we play!

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13 comments

  1. " Are you Mexican" Omg.. Wow. She totally just wanted to mess with him! Love his response! Omg too funny.

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    1. He always has the best responses! Ha ha!

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  2. Hillarious and your husband had a great reply!

    We had an "Indian Uncle Detective" ask a silly question at our local desi salon. We walked in as a family and soon as my husband was out of earshot the Indian Uncle asked me "Are you Indian?" What?!? I am white, have blue eyes, and medium brown hair and do not look even remotely Indian. I politely told the Uncle that I am American while stifling laughter. I think that it was incomprehensible to him that an Indian and non-Indian can be married! - Rebecca

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    1. Ha ha....that has happened to me too. When we were in New Delhi, the hotel luggage boy asked my hubby if I was Indian. He thought I was some Northern Indian or something...LOL.

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  3. Of course he is Italian. Why couldn't the aunty detective figure that out? Some detective she is... ;)

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    1. Ha ha ha!!!! He sure WANTS to be Italian!

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  4. Oh the great "Indian Interrogation".
    Well having lived in India & Nepal for the last 15 yrs I can safely agree with your husband on how to deal with interrogating uncles & aunties, either-
    A. Nip it in the bud. (The PC way to say this is to 'set boundaries'.) Do not respond verbally to any & all inquisitions but do glare in the most hostile manner you can muster directly into your interrogator's eyes.
    or
    B. Mess with them. Answer their ridiculously nosy questions with the most asininely ridiculous answers (while giving them the hostile glare). If you're really feeling frisky ask some wildly inappropriate questions right back like "Can't you afford a face lift?" or "Don't you have any manners?"
    Works for me!

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    1. I am so scared to be rude sometimes, but I must figure out some great comebacks. God only knows why that crazy Aunty said that! She is such an old nut....

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  5. Just have Maya make that face from the photo above at the aunty and she will stop- she will be killed with cuteness. Jokes aside, the only way to nip aunties and uncles like this in the bud is to be rude. It has worked marvelously for me!

    Raina.

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    1. Ha ha ha! Totally! Maybe she will learn from her dad and do all the talking for me!

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  6. Way to Go! Your husband gave the right answer.
    In 11 years in India, I went from trying to politely answer these very intrusive nobody's business but my own questions, to cutting the discussion short. If they can ask something tacky, I have no obligation to give a classy answer.
    In many case I even answer "Why do you even ask?" And it often is enough to make the nosy auntie/uncle blush.

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    1. That is a good reply. I mean, WHY exactly do they want to know?

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  7. Happens to me all the time , even though me n my husband are both indians people keep askin him What country are u from?
    Italian, Arab, Mexican is what I hear most..
    Sometimes I laugh othertimes I get irritated :)


    AnanyaTales

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