Wednesday, February 17, 2016

A Series of Fortunate Events

You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours"? Well, lately we have had the opposite occur - a series of fortunate events have blessed us in a matter of mere days. Whatever is happening, it feels like all the planets are astrologically aligning for all of our hopes and dreams to come true!

I suppose I should start at the very beginning....

I have a dream. My dream is a lot unconventional and a bit unique. My dream has, and always been, to have both sets of parents living with us. The happiest moments in my life involve the togetherness of our families. Luckily my inlaws and my parents - although very different in personalities - get along famously. Husband-ji is the eldest son, so he needs to take care of his parents; and I am the only child so I need to take care of mine.


How exactly is that possible? Well, we would need two things. The first is that my inlaws would need to immigrate to my country permanently. The second part would be accommodation. We need a place where we can ALL live - which is inconceivable in Vancouver because the spaces are very small (and I cannot live outside the city in some suburb - I am an urban girl!). Also, living in a family of 8 people is kinda a big cluster-f*ck. But, we still need to live together, or at least on the same property. So, the best option would be for us to live in separate spaces in the SAME building. So we basically just need to build our OWN apartment building with the land we own. Yup, go big or go home!

Thus, the birth of my dream. And I am so happy to reveal that it is finally coming into fruition.

Recently, the first amazing thing that happened was that we were FINALLY able to start the construction on our building. This is something that we started to plan 2 years ago, and we have hit so many road blocks along the way. It has been a HUGE struggle financially to pull off, but we did it. We have never invested so much money into something before, so it has been a bit scary. We are working with a talented architect and a team of fantastic builders. After years of preparation and waiting, the building started, and it has been happening so fast in a matter of days. Every day we go and check on the construction and it is a thrilling and exciting process to see our dream home come up.

Less than 48 hours after we started construction, we got some more amazing news: my inlaws received their Canadian Permanent Residency. This means that they can work/live/study in Canada and utilize our amazing free healthcare system. This means they can live with us permanently and we don't have to suffer by being separated by our countries.

We have waited SIX long years for this. Back in 2010, I had this idea that we should see if we could apply to sponsor husband-ji's parents so that they could come and live in Canada with us in the future. At the time, we were not even married yet, and husband-ji had just got his residency and started working. People thought I was a bit crazy planning so far ahead. I organized a meeting with our immigration lawyer and we got all the paperwork together and applied. Our lawyer warned us about the huge backlog for parental sponsorship and said it could take up to 10 years to even hear back. Shortly after we applied, the Canadian government closed any future applications for people to bring their parents in - so literally, we got ours in just in time.

Years and years went by with no news from the government, until last year when we suddenly received a notification that they had finally started processing it. During this time, my heart yearned for us all to be together, and especially after having Maya I felt like they were missing out on so much of her life. I hated us being separated, so we planned to vacation together every 6 months to meet. While I loved vacationing together, it was bittersweet. When we were in Yellowstone, I had to excuse myself and I went to my room and cried because the thought of saying goodbye to them at the end of the trip killed me inside.

Two days before Christmas, the Canadian government requested their passports for stamping. We were all upset that they couldn't join us for Christmas this year and we didn't know why they were requesting the passports - was it just another step in the process or was this it? It seemed like our parental sponsorship application was progressing - fast. They got their Permanent Residency!!!

And, just like that, life can change in an instant. I cried tears of joy and I thanked God for our good fortune. We are so blessed to not have to worry about being divided by our countries. My country has welcomed my inlaws - permanently. Not everyone gets this chance. They were meant to be here, with us. They are meant to grow old here, and become Canadian too. A new beginning. My FIL thanked me for making his dreams come true, and I cried. And not only that, but since our building started, we will soon have a place for us all to reside. This building will be a home for all of us, and it will financially sustain (and house) our family for the future. We are also planning to put our store on the ground level, which means husband-ji's commute to work will be an elevator ride down! It will be so much easier for us to take care of our parents and help them when we are all on the same property. Maya can just take the elevator up to see both of her grandparents. I can send dinner upstairs to my dad. It is what I have always dreamed of for our family, and it has finally started to become real. 2016 is the year that our dreams are coming true!!!


This Summer, my inlaws will be re-locating here and I want them to live with us. I have had enough of us being separated. I have missed them terribly, and I am so excited that we can have them here and we never have to give them back. We will be living as a traditional joint family abroad. Needless to say, I have so much to do to prepare for their arrival - mostly involving de-cluttering, rearranging furniture, and preparing a room for them in our current temporary rental. I am really looking forward to our new life together, and I can't wait to tell you all the funny stories about our adventures living together!

Stay tuned!

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41 comments

  1. Hi Alexandra! I want to say that you seem like a wonderful person. My girlfriend broke up with me because she wanted me to live separately from my parents after marriage. I couldn't accept it then and now having lost my mom to cancer a few months back, I just can't imagine living separately from my father after he retires in four years. This worrying thought is always at the back of my mind that what if my future spouse doesn't get along with my father? I'd rather stay a bachelor than go through all this drama and conflict.

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    1. Thank you for reading. Yes, I totally understand your predicament. For me, I knew from the beginning that we would eventually live with them, so I put as much effort into my relationship with my in-laws as I did into my marriage. Family is really important.

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  2. That sounds like a really sweet and SUPER Indian thing to do! Well done, and I hope the building venture pays off :)

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    1. I know, isn't it! Actually our Indian bank manager wants to copy our property for his family...hahaha

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  3. Wow this is a big deal. You guys have done something amazing really.
    Congratulations and Best Wishes !

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  4. That is such beautiful news, A! You guys make a lovely family together. Very few families are able to be together as you will. My best wishes, love and thoughts for you and your family. Little Maya is indeed a lucky girl.

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  5. Wow congratulations! Here in Germany it will be absolutely impossible to my in-laws to live here as they only allow this kind of "bring your family with you" for people from war torn countries and the EU and any other Schengen country...so for Chinese it aint working :(
    We plan also to build a house in the next years in which at least my parents could also move in but the financial aspect is so scary!

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    1. Oh no! That is so unfair.... 😞
      Here in Canada, families from Hong Kong get processed even faster (12 months) than my in-laws did. I think they have some kind of diplomatic deal.
      It's a big deal to build a house, it's a lot of financial stress but it is a wise investment, especially in a busy city.

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  6. That's amazing news!! Congrats to you all!!

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  7. Congrats! hehe this kind of sounds like the plot of a sitcom in some ways; you should write a fictional novel about it, two families from different countries under one roof- or at least, multiple rooms in the same building lol

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  8. Hope to see pictures of the building. Will you rent out more apartments? What kind of store?

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    1. We have a women's clothing and home decor store. We have moved it during construction.
      In addition to our apartments, we will have 2 residential rentals, and 2 retail rentals.
      I'm still undecided as to whether to post pictures, as I would like to keep some of my anonymity. I might post the interior though, once it is done

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  9. Alex,

    How exciting, so glad you in law's got Canadian residency! How exciting to know they will be living in the same building as you. The apartment building so wonderful hope this turns out well. Gosh, this will be so great that you can have your parent and your in law's just right by you. SO HAPPY FOR ALL OF YOU, this is great news. Keep us posted.


    Melissa

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  10. YAY!!!! What a fabulous investment too!!!
    http://calmlycookingcurry.blogspot.com/2016/02/badaami-kokkhur-kashmiri-chicken-with.html

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  11. Congratulations! This is indeed big and happy news!

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  12. Congratulations!! Glad things are working out :)

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  13. This is simply wonderful!You are such a sweet heart to make this happen. Your family to luck to have you girl, seriously!

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  14. Wow! it sounds great. Down the road hubby and I also wanted to do something like this. Just curious - Did you guys (all six) put in the money for the building equally? I know you're the only child but how your hubby's other siblings taking it?

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    1. We all contributed as much as we possibly can.
      My hubby has one younger sister and she already own her home in Blore and lives with her Inlaws.

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  15. Great that how 2 sets of parents from entirely different culture are getting along well. My parents and his are from same caste and had lots of fights . I am so surprised and glad that you people are so adjusting

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    1. Thank you...We really try! Not saying we don't fight, but we forgive each other and don't hold grudges.

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  16. Hey, great news, congratulations ! Though I have a feeling your SIL won't be too happy about this ? - Pad

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    1. Thanks! She is busy taking care of her own Inlaws, but I think she is happy that her parents are coming to Canada.

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    2. Good for you. I was asking because once you mentioned she was very jealous. - Pad

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  17. This is my dream!!!
    R.

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  18. it is fabulous news. but will they aduSt to a new country, new country and not feel lonely. usually people who come from India find western countries very mechanical and impersonal. coming for vacation is one thing but settling down permantly is another.

    are u totally comfortable with your mil living with u permanently. u may have the same mil dil problem which u have avoided so far because u lived away. I do not want to dampen your happiness but that is how life is. good luck

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    1. Yes, I definitely have that in mind. Part of the reason why they will be staying with us is that I don't want them to get lonely, and I want them to have a strong start in Canada.
      We will see how it goes, I am optimistic since we have made it 10 years and have gotten over many fights. Also it will be most beneficial for my daughter, most of all.

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    2. Sounds wonderful Alex. Hope it all works out happily ever after and everyone can pull themselves in to make it all work successfully. Good luck ! Ana

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  19. Congratulations on your series of fortunate events, Alexandra! :-)

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  20. Hi Alex! I am very excited. I just discovered your blog and it is good to read about someone who experienced what I am about to live. My boyfriend is Indian and I am a French Canadian. So we have both the cultural and languages issues, since English is not the first language of either of us. He had an older brother, and I was expecting him to marry an Indian girl and to take care of my Indian in-laws. So I wasn't really thinking about the fact that they might live with us at some point, but it had always been a possibility. Now it became more than that, since his brother passed away. He is now the only responsible of the family. It is a lot of pressure. His family doesn't know he has a girlfriend yet, they know me as his best friend even tough we've been living together for the past few months. I love him so much, and I love being in an intercultural relationship. But now I feel like he and I will have so much pressure and I am a bit afraid thinking about all the challenges ahead of us. It is good to know that it works out really good for some persons and that we are not the only one to have those big cultural miscommunication problems. I will continue to read you, thank you for sharing.

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