Wednesday, June 13, 2018

The Working Mother


As I mentioned in my last update, in May I was thrilled to start a new job. Since then, I have been getting acclimatized to my "new normal" of being a mom and working outside the home. Even though I have worked before since becoming a mother, it was always either back to our shop and/or on my creative projects, so it was a bit different. First, it was so flexible that I could always switch with husband-ji or work while Maya was in school. And such flexible work did not really bring in enough cash to benefit our family. Nor did it give me enough work hours to really accomplish much. Now it's a bit different because my work hours are longer and not really negotiable. It's definitely a different pace, but I'm really liking it.

First let me mention that me working would not even be possible without the support of my mother-in-law (and of course husband-ji - but mostly my mother-in-law!). She has wanted me to go out and work on my own for a long time but I was focused on the kids and I was mentally tied up with trying to get pregnant, being pregnant and trying to keep the pregnancy, breastfeeding Veda, and trying to stop breastfeeding Veda. So there went two years of my life! We women really do have to sacrifice a lot of our time when we birth these babies! After my mother-in-law returned from India, I finally felt ready to start working again and focusing on my career, for once!

I tried to work at the shop, but then I got an idea that maybe I should try to work elsewhere. Why? Well, there were a lot of reasons. I wanted to try to work for a company that I loved and I wanted to gain some more experience for my resume. And now it turns out that I really like my job and I'm going to try to stay there longer term. It's a much larger company so I have learned a lot of new skills since joining.

Without my mother-in-law here, this wouldn't even be possible. Babysitters and nannies cost $15-20 per hour, and daycare costs $1700-$2500 per month. So, uh, no. It is so wonderful that she is here and she takes such good care of the kids. It is a privilege to get the chance to think about my career, and essentially myself, and the life goals that I want to accomplish. Husband-ji has also been great at helping to pick up Maya from school when I have to work and accommodating my schedule which effects all of us, especially since I was the go-to person to drop everything of my own to make sure that the family/home life runs properly. It's a bit of a new dynamic in our relationship and it feels like he respects me just a little bit more since I started working again.

I am working part-time at the moment, which can range anywhere between 15-40 hours per week depending on how much they need me. I find that I'm enjoying my kids more since working and having a life outside the home. When I come home, I make sure to spend quality time with the kids and take them on fun outings. For literally the first time in the past 7 years, it feels like I've got a good balance.

Maya seems the most happy about my new job. I was so scared that she would be upset and think my work was taking me away from her, but she didn't. She was, after all, the one who asked me to get a job in the first place! So I guess I can thank her for the idea! She seems to be very proud of me and she has told her whole class. She especially likes it when I have to get dressed up for work with the whole production of makeup, earrings and nice clothes. Although it feels like such a chore to dress up, it's a nice change from my uniform for the past 2 years of sweatpants!

If you had asked me 6 months ago about my life goals or what I want to accomplish, I would probably say something very vague because anything outside of being a mother seemed unattainable and felt like it would never get done. It is so refreshing to have a new set of goals now, and the time and space to really get to work!

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